Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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What's grey and can't swim? A castle.

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Q. Whats the worst soccer team in the world. A. Ass-enal.

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Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

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There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

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Q: Human being? A: False. Jew.

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What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

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friends are like snowflakes. if you piss on them they go away

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

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She likes her sex like she likes her penises. Without a woman.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Watch me shoot you

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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