What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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Justin Bieber

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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What do you call two black men riding on a tandem bicycle? Best friends.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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9/11

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I HAVE AIDS NOW YOU DO TOO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops