/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. It should only take one person to demonstrate such a simple task, regardless of their hair color.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

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What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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