What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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What is faster? A mustang or a corvette? A fighter jet you stupid idiotic piece of crap!

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm bitten in half in your apple.

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What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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Q: Why doesn't Micheal Jackson have orgasms? A: Because he's dead.

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Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

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Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

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How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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