I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

Please give money to a local Jew we have had such a bad time please ONLY people who are Jews.

roses are red violets are blue does this smell like chloroform

What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

Why did the Soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin in the air.

What is the name of Helin Keller's street, state and pet Street: Mahhehb State: Hahgre Pet: habdsa

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

whats long and black on a black guy slavery

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

Why did the man break all his bones? Because his parachute failed to open

there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin My dick in your mouth.

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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