why was kade sad? he shit himself

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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what do you do if you see a black man covered in hot greece on the floor of the bus shelter? call an ambulance...

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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How did the cookie monster die? Diabidies

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What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

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Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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A pope meets another one

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Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

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A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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read this sentence again.

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a cadilac driving over a cliff? They stole my car :(

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Someone with a lame joke: What's black and white and red all over? Smart person who decides to mess with him: Nothing, if it is red all over how can it be black and white???????

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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