Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Be sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

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What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Nobody because Repeat is a good friend and he went in after Pete.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms... Why couldn't sally get up? She had no legs Why did no one help sally? Because she has no friends.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

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What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

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Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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