What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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How do you stop someone from getting cancer? Kill them.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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What do you call a black guy with a peg leg? An amputee.

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

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You are joking right?

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Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

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Why was the black girl happy? She got a raise.

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Have you tried Ethiopian food? -no -well it's really good

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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How many girls does ittake to screw in a lightbulb? Doesnt matter as long as dinner is on the table by 6:00

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a man walks into a bar he suffer's bad injuries by Mad

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it lands on its back.

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Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops