Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting owl Interrupting owl- HOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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I know where you live. No seriously im looking at you through your window. 80% of you just checked. 90% of you didnt realize i just ended that statement with a question mark. 100% of you just checked gotcha

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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