A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

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What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

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h

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What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

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why did the blond sop at a red light? because it was red.

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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Albert <3 Hunter

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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what is 1 plus 1 i don't know ask your teacher

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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