Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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BTW ANders she is gone, read below, seriously! And your mother is ugly, but she is so kind to me, so ill be nice to her too... Seducing a LONE WIDOW ME 32 years she... 180 and always blushing around me? Thats gonna be hard... No seriously, I kissed her on the cheek the other day, she moaned... And she aint that old... looks like a old 40 year old. ANDERS! AAAANDEERS! CHATTERTON!!! Anyway, tell your mom, that way Ill just need to enter, kill you, and you know... make her feel like she is ... 77 again? Nah she is ahornbag so she must be younger, wont kiss her on those lips though ANDERSSSss because she smokes, the others? Sure, Ill take a pic of her squirting! From the guy that taught you how to make any woman squirt... YOu fucking asshole!

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Whoever just posted that suicide shit is stupid, you can get arrested for that shit. I would delete it.

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Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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How do you get a horse to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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