Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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whats the difference between slade , and wizard? wham

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What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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We decided to post a joke on anti-joke and see if we can get any rapings

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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How many band geeks does it take to catch a football? One, especially if he/she is on the football team.

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What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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