- Anti Joke

HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

what just happened when chuck norris falling from the sky..? Starts making a wish

A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

sadf

Rebecca Black just died, she walked into a stadium and was overwhelmed by the amount of seating choices.

What is better than a Beer? Two Beers.

A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

What do you get when you cross an owl, with a bungee cord?..... My ass.

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? They do. In fact, seagulls can be found near almost any body of water.

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

A ninja walked into a dojo and was kindly greeted by his master.

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA GASP! X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." runs

There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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