knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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