I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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