Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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A bear walks into a bar..... The bartender asks " what do you want?" , he gets killed by the bear because he started talking to it Made by eli

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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how many black men did it take to steal from the whitehouse? Obama.

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Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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why did the women have to black eyes? obviously because her husband hit her because he wanted a sandwich and he slapped the bitch and told her to get in the kitchen!

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I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

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I read the terms of service.

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11/9 Americans won't get this joke.

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Rose are red Violets are blue all I what to know is what do that mouth do

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

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Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

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Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

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Cancer. Super Cancer.

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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