What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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