- Anti Joke

What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

chuck noris- can swim through land god- can walk on watter i- can run on air

Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

I rode in to town on an ass... ur momas ass!!

How do you know a black man's been in your backyard? If you throw a barbecue and your friends of African-American descent decide to bring cold cuts.

Why was the boy sleeping on the curb? he wasn't actually sleeping, he actualy just got hit by a car and had already died.

What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery.. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you because you’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.. That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you because you’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the Earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the Earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth. The monks reply, “Congratulations, you are correct, and you are now considered a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door. The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, “May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone…The man requests the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went on until the man had gone through doors of emerald,…. ….silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the key to the last door.” The man is relieved to be at the end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight…. ….But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk.

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

Why was the drunk man in jail? He had lost touch with himself because his wife cheated on him the previous night and to add to the fact she took his clothes so public nudity would be a problem.

Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

the wild black man is searching for food. He spots a KFC, and goes wild. He then proceeds to get in line.

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

well use a tissue!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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