What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

How do you kill a beetle? Wait outside his apartment and shoot him

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

Why was the little girl crying? She got raped by a giant scorpion.

You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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