What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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What stops a train? A missile

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What did the chicken say to the.... nevermind

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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Who would win in a fight between superman and flash? Chuck Norris

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A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

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Want to hear a funny joke? Not really.

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

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whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

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Why did the kid fall off the bike? Because he was paraplegic.

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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SEX IS LIKE MATH ADD THE BED SUBTRACT THECLOTHES DIVIDE THE LEGS AND PRAY U DONT MULTIPLY!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops