What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

What do I hate? people

What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus.

France had one revolution

Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

Why was Timmy sore? He'd been playing with his cornhole along with his friends all day!

What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

What's 2+2? Fish

Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

What's brown and rhymes with poop? Dr. Dre.

you see theres this guy.

A dog is always in the pushup position.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...