Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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Why does sammy have a cut on her arm? becuase her mom went to go stab her dad and missed

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Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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Why was Rebecca Black beaten with a pole when she sang Friday? It was Saturday

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

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MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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Hey ask me if i'm a train? Are you a train? No...

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Why couldn't the mute kid tell his mom the house was on fire? Casue he fell down the stairs and broke his hands...

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AND

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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where did little suzie go during 9/11 EVERYWHERE...

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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How does Batman's mom call him home for supper? Nothing. Batman's mom is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops