your mama's so fat... that's it

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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Why is my penis rainbow colored?

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

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A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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a Gay Man Walks Into A Bar And See's its Only Women In There, He Screams And Leaves

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? I don't know, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 million years.

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What Do you call two black guys on a bike? A two person bike

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing???? she had down syndrome

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

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Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? its a refridgerator Why did the third monkey jump out of the tree It thought it was a game

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops