Pacient: Doctor Doctor i think im becoming a vegetable... because of my heriditory bone marrow mutation

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did the teenage girl pee on a stick? She and her boyfriend had foolishly engaged in unprotected sex two weeks before, and she was now concerned that she may be pregnant.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Sex! Sex Who? Sex with me. BOOM!

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

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How do Asians name their children? They throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make.

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why did the panda go to the store? to buy milk.

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What do you call an blonde, brunette, and a redhead? There has yet to be a definition for a group of people categorized by hair color.

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What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

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You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

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A guy has spikey things in his butt, what happened?............... He fell on a cactus.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

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Q:Why don't black people go on cruises? A:They already fell for that trick once.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

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The duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man who was running the stand, hey I cancer CC

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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Q: Why are all black people fast? A: Because the slow ones are in jail.

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how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

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What's 2+2? Fish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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