So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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The Oakland Raiders

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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why did sally fall of the swing? because she had no arms... knock knock? (whos there) not sally

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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Why is this joke hilarious? Because it isn't.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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