Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in a van headed to the slaughterhouse.

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lol i'm going to hell for laughing at this shit

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Are you going to just stand there and watch me burn for i am on fire? Well that is fine because the sensation feels so fantastic. You are going to just stand there and listen to me whine the night away. It is quite okie-dokie for I really love your art of lying! To be certain, I love it very much! I can not find myself telling you what really occurred, I can only explain to you the sensation i felt from this moment. For I have a dagger in my trachea. For the number of days where the do not's fell like the actually do's. I will be very happy :). But where are you trying to walk away from. Than she told me she was leaving. I said no you very certainly are not! Megan Lady-who-sleeps-with-many-men (aka Whore) Fox. We find ourselves back on the day we met...... etc etc, lot's of pissed off Rapper vs. the English language. Than more words fly out of the mouth of the woman that said she "just wanted a hit" than got slapped around the ear by her ex. It is a pointless song. Today's youth is hopeless. (just kidding i love Eminem stay infinite for life)

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A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

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What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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A black guy and a jew walk into a country club, within minutes, they are told to leave and never come back in order to avoid being contaminated by the radioactive waste left by a landfill company cutting corners in safety regulations

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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I just threw up..In my pants.

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Ready for something funny? nothing

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

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knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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