If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

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The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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feminism

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Are you gay. No. Ok.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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Q:what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? other person: What? A:how am i suppose to know I'm not a lawyer.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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three white men are running after a black man,, the black man is winning the race

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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