So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

Communism hehe xd

You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

A baby seal walks into a club.

What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

What did the old man say when those damn kids stepped on his lawn? Nothing one of those kids killed him around three years back....

yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

why did the baby die ? he fell down the stairs

A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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