A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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