Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

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If life gives you AIDs, make lemonaids.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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Why was 6 afraid of 12? Because 12 used to beat up 6 and now 6 has a restraining order against 12. 12 has to stay at least 5 numbers away from 6.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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A gay man watches football.

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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How meny Jews can you fit in an ash-tray? None. There to big

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

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Jack and Jeff went up a hill to fetch a pail of water, They both turned gay, and had some sex, and now they have HIV

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roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems don't make sense, Salad.

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there was a black man n a white man they went into a hauted house the black man saw a penut butter slice n tryed to eat it then the ghost said dont eat the penut butter slice so the black man ran away so then the white man came and saw the penut butter slice the white man toke a bite then the ghots said i told u once i told you 2 i wipe my ass with that penut butter slice

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Knock knock, Who's there Why did the chicken cross the road? Idiot.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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You know who else sucks dick? My aunt Jane. She was forced to become a prostitute after she got fired from her job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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