Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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What's white and horny? a unicorn.

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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bangers and mash?

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guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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