What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +33

One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

thumb_up thumb_down +29

The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I hate it when people dont finish there sen

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

thumb_up thumb_down +27

how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops