How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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jsahgfvdjfhgdehv? oiyduhgfdushy

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Neronism is based on the belief that respect and love for one self and ones opinions, combined with respect and love for the opinions of those which follow the same concepts, is the right thing to do. Now behold what religion has done, it spreads fear and poverty, demands the submission of free will and belief in oneself, which again leads to pedophilia, abuse and discrimination of women, abuse and hate, which breeds life to wars agony, suffering poverty and disease in the name of what defines love these days for some "might exist and be jealous and cruel God which loves you so much, that he gives you the option behind serving him or endless suffering..." Not to mention, this fear of eternal torment, being passed on for generation to generation, creating endless wars since the dawn of mankind. Know that we do consider outsiders inferior, but we do not hate you, we pity you, we will not make you suffer, as you due to your path, suffer enough already. Now ask yourself, if we are what you could say those that represent anti-religion, as we go on knowing this, we can not only do better than religion... ...But the hell if we can do worse! Moral: "We will not walk with pride into the light, we will not go into war against those we disagree with, instead we walk in the dark with humility and listen to our hearts and the one of others in order to find our definition of love and kindness... ...Otherwise Neronism would just be yet another fucking religion, and there is enough of that in this world already. If you listen then you know who I am in spirit, if not then you might have learned something new.

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Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Three kids are playing on the swings. One of the kids falls off. He then gets up, gets back on the swing and continues playing.

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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Knock knock Who's there? Benjamin Benjamin who? Benjamin Dover Ben! I'm so glad you're home the kids have missed you so much!

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

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Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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Why was the black person playing hockey? Because he found an interest to the sport during his childhood years.

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Q - What's the difference between a Park Bench and a Black Man ? A - The Park Bench can support a family.

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A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

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How the hell do you know? What are you Nero? You are completely right! I was going to say I got no blue tie, but then I forgot you often call ribbons for ties... How? Should I be scared? I am not, no wonder you never felt human... I am shocked, I cant think straight I am confused and... Sorry Nero, Goodnight, if nothing else, you are no demon, but rather an angel, sweet dreams love. The solvemedia says the bible, this is freaky, my mind is numb.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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