Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

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Person 1: knock knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: nobody Person 2: nobody who? Person 1: ............

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whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

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-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

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one time someone wrote an anti-joke, hoping for lots of likes, which give one a sense of validation. nope.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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class is canceled. My professor died.

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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Your mama's so stupid, she gave birth to YOU.

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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Why did the girl fall of the swings? Because she has no arms.

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your mom is so rude that she took her t shirt of and her bra of she was not naked how did she get so rude she drank till one brain cell was left

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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Obama Getting Re-Elected.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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How about that airline food?

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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