your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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kieran is a homosexual

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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How do you kill a black man There is many ways

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Why did the girl fall from the tree? Gravity.

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Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

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* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

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Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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What was hitlers least favorite pokemon? Hitler didnt have a least favorite pokemon because hitler died long before the idea of pokemon was created.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, nobody could fit inside a pineapple, nor could a pineapple survive in the sea

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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How many spots does a giraffe have? Depends on the giraffe.

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A Jew walks into Macy's

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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