Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the caveman say to the dinosaurs, nothing dinosaurs are from the Triassic period 25 million years ago, while the origin of man came around 230000 years ago, so there would be a massive time difference and and would never seen each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How did the Mexican get into the United States? He applied for a Visa and was granted authorization to live and work in the United States on a permanent basis.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Did you hear that Hollywood actress got stabbed last night? A: Really? Which one? Q: Reese.. um wither.. withersomething A: Witherspoon? Q: Yes. Her. She's in a critical condition.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what long green and bumpy? a pickle

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar. Sup.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A black man walks into a convienent store, pays for his stuff and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the little boy grow up to be a homosexual man? He didn't find the female reproductive system sexually appealing

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why do Christians believe in God? Because they're stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats fun about the governement's jokes? nothing, they are actually serious

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road??? Suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops