A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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why did they bury bin laden at sea? because he died

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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woman's rights

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Hi. He said it in sign language.

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There is a boy in a school............. SUDDENTLY, PEDOBEAR APPEARS!

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The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

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Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

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What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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So there was once this cool little dude that had a purple nose. People would walk by on the streets and say, "Hey! That's a cool nose!" Purple nose man appreciated that they didn't pretend it wasn't there, and instead celebrated the diversity. The next day, he was scalped.

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this website is a bad joke

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

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Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

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Why did the black man get some Kool-Aid? Because he was thirsty, and thought Kool-Aid would be able to quench his thirst.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops