Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

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How many Jews does it take to bake a turkey using an oven, I don't know but it only takes one Jew to stuff one.

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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How do you get a black man to run? Ask him how his day has been, catch up on some memories of your time at school together, then challenge him to a foot race.

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what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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How many gun shots does it take to kill you? 1..2... 3...4... Samantha reapeatedly kept shooting her enemy until she noticed that her enemy was Chuck Norris. So how many gunshots does it take to kill Chuck Norris? The world may never know.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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What did the retarded kid get for chrismas? Nothing the orphanage could not afford to give presents to all of the retarded children

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Why did the chicken cross the road---- because he's having financial and relationship related problems that make his life so hideously unbearable that he wants to kill himself and because he's a chicken and cannot overdose or hang himself he goes for the most viable option as to run across a busy street in hopes of getting smashed to oblivion by a car

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what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

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Are you from Jamaica? 'Cause you're making me crazy! Are you from Haiti? I'm really sorry about all the disaster that's been happening there.

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

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Cheese

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"knock, knock" "who is there?" Gestapo

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops