Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A man walks into a bar. He is followed by a chicken, 2 donkeys, a tiger, 7 cardinals, 3 horses, 11 chipmunks, and 2 squirrels. And they all lived happily ever after. THE END

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Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Prior to this incident he was being chased by a psychopathec killer who had just murdered his family. As he was escaping on his bike, the murder's lookout who was holding a shotgun, swung the butt end of the gun, causing severe brain damage and eventually death to the escaping boy, also causing him to topple over on his bycicle.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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I know 7 facts about you: 1. You're reading this. 2. You hate this overused shit. 3. You may think I will skip a number. 5. And you hate me much more. 6. You have seen porn. 7. You want me to kill myself. I am just gonna go suicide.

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Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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This is an anti- joke

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dead cat.

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Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Its very nice.

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you dint have to be a jew matt

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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