A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

You're in the middle of the ocean and you see a roller coaster. What color is the penny? Tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

thumb_up thumb_down -3

yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock Who's there

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Math mean: mental, abuse, to, human

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is duke oxtoby? legend.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats worse then finding a worn in your apple the holocaust whats worse then the holocaust two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops