How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

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Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

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Why was George Washington buried in Virginia? Because he was dead.

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A Jew, a Catholic, and an Aeithiest walk into a bar. The bartender look at them and says "Is this some kind of a joke?".

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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What has 8 legs and makes women scream? .....Gang rape.

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A white man is found dead in an alley way, who was the murderer? The black guy trying to climb up the walls to escape.

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whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

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Jesus hates you this I know, because Buddha told me soo.

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why did the boys run from Michael Jackson? because they thought he was a ghost

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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What was the babies first word? Nothing: It was a still-born.

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What's worse then finding a worm in ur apple? Nothing it sucks and it's a waste of an apple

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops