Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

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What do you say to a black couple that just got married? Congratulations

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

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What happened to the baby in the microwave. I don't know I was too busy masturbating off to it in my clown suit

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Two children are opening presents for Christmas. Daughter: "Look how many beautiful things I've got, look how much parents love me! And you got a Jo-Jo! Ha-ha!" Son*playing with Jo-Jo*: "Yeah, some of us have Jo-Jo, and some of us leuchemia. Ha-ha."

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Hobos are like Obama they want change.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she was a very poor worker.

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Why did the Jewish girl fall off the swing? Because Amon Goeth shot her in the head from his balcony with his rifle. --Amon Goeth's friend

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

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Why did the chicken cross the road It was being dragged to the other side by fox It's the way of life _._._

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What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

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A black guy walks into a shop, takes a shirt, and then he pays for it.

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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