Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

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If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

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Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

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What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

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So, I walk into a bar and say "Why do you call this place a bar, I don't see any bars in here!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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RUN

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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Wow! I've seen this joke before!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with his friend that was on the other side.

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Man goes to the doctors, He waits patiently in the waiting room for nine minutes and is then called in to see the doctor for a routine check up. After seeing the doctor he picks up his sisters kid from school and carries on with his day.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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Whats a six letter name for black people? Friend.

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Why do bitches love cheese toast? 'Cuz bitches love cheese toast

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

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Why did Jimmy go to a Barbershop for the first time? He needed a haircut, and the salon next to his house was closed because of financial problems

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Q: Why did you get raped last week? A: Because at night you touch yourself to pictures of rapists.

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What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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Dumb

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What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops