Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He chickened out.

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Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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11th September jokes are just plane wrong.

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

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I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

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roses are red turtles are random. cancer

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't sexual abuse, which her sister had experienced while traveling around the world in 2007.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

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You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

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1: Knock, knock 2: Go away!

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Q: GUESS WHAT IS REALLY BAD????? A: TITTY CANCER! :0

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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why was the little boy happy? Because he wasn't in the penn state locker room.

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Roses are red lemons are sour open Your legs and gimme an hour!

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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