Whos better at Hide and go Seek, Anne Frank or Osama Bin Laden? -Why dont you tell me, they're both dead !

How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

What's funny? Women's rights.

your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

What do you call a joke that isn't funny? A joke that isn't funny.

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is deceased, therefore rendering her incapable of movement, which is required to drive a vehicle.

What's worse than finding the Holocaust in your apple? Nothing

What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

What is rectangular, white and has two wheels? A limo getting its wheels replaced.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My wife is dying of terminal brain cancer."

How many cans does the average alcoholic drink in one night? None. Cans are solid and therefore cannot be drank.

What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

"I have a job perfromance review today!" Earl told his wife. "Good luck, I will make you a special dinner tonight," Melinda, his wife, responded.

So there is a white guy and a jewish guy walking, they find a penny on the ground who takes it? The white guy because he is in debt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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