What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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one of my friends died of heartburn today :( i cant believe gav is gone

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

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Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

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Two homosexuals are making love in the kitchen. One leaves for a bit and says, "Dont finish without me." Upon returning, white goo is spattered across the floor. Concerned that the clumsily dropped icing may stain, they promptly clean it.

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Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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a man walks into a library Who the hell reads

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what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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What's red and has zippers? Nothing, because watermelons can't physically drive without the help of a sheeps spinal cords ... DUH

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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why did the platypus fall out of a tree it couldnt even climb up the tree

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What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

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What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

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what's more fun then stapling a dead baby to a fence? ripping it off

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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