why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human languages, promptly shits on the floor and leaves...

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

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a Gay Man Walks Into A Bar And See's its Only Women In There, He Screams And Leaves

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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what has wheels and runs on gas? a car with feet

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Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

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What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Finding a half-eaten worm in your apple.

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

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Which hockey player has scored the monst goals of all time? He-Shoot-Si Scores

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Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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