How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

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Knock knock Come in

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"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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a man walks into a bad part of town he is shot 13 times and dies.

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Do you wanna build a snowman ? No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

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So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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Knock knock Whose there? 4

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What did the fat man do? He fell over...

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops