You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Gawds Trololols: Jewsus: I die for ur Sins, now u are free! *argh* Gawd AD 3000: TIME TO DIE SINNERS! Jewsus: But I paid for humanity`s sins and am stuck in hell because of this and... Gawd: Meh just didnt really liek you TROLOLOL! Gawds Trololols 2 directors clit: Gawd: Jebus! (the third) I want you to trololol peeps now! GO! Jebus: As you see people, I have died for you in order to prove that I am immortal! Peeps: Uh, wow? Jebus: TROLOLOL! So dad, when am I gonna get back to earth again, I kinda promised my boyfriends/apostles that there would be a second cumming as you told me to do, and people have been waiting for over twothousand and fourtee... Gawd: Never! Trolololol! Moral: "Would you trust a being whose veins are loaded with alcohol?" Jesus 2: The second coming: In cincemas never!

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Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Rebecca Black just died, she walked into a stadium and was overwhelmed by the amount of seating choices.

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I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

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What did Facebook say to Twitter, and twitter to blogg ant blogg to youtube? nothing. They cant talk..

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Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

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Today's Horoscope for Cancer: You have Cancer.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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Knock knock whose there nobody you have no friends remember

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Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

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What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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a Gay Man Walks Into A Bar And See's its Only Women In There, He Screams And Leaves

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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