A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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What is the difference between my right hand and my left hand? I used my right hand to stab your mother.

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whats long and black? a baton

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

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John Cena

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How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

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Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

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Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

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Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

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Q: How many Jews can u fit in a bathtub? A: Well it depends if you use their ashes.

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Knock Knock........wait there cars gone, I'll come back later

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What's black and breaks your stove when falling from a tree? Your stove

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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I've got some good news an some bad news. The good new is that you just won 10 million dollars! The bad news is I'm just kidding.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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knock knock whos their? kevin kevin who? knock knock huh? queef

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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Asian women drivers...

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What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

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Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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