What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

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Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

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TOP KEK

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a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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Whats bright red and claws at the window? Baby in a microwave.

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies shouldn't be changing light bulbs.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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why did the black guy buy magnum condoms? because his white friend knew the cashier and thought it would be awkward for himself to buy them.

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Mommy, Mommy, I don't like Daddy! Well leave him on the side of the plate and eat your peas instead!

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

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Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

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I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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Bare with me here, im gonna change this up a bit What's better then finding a worm in your apple

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being chased by a coyote that hadn't eaten in several days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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