A stripper walks into a bar. She works there.

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

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Lololol

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Why was the Tyrannosaurus Rex such an aggressive animal? it had short arms so it could not masturbate.

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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tell ur mom i love her before i die this would have been a better ending to the tintanic

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped six's mother

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom likes dick and so do you

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Cry me a river. Then build a bridge and become a structural engineer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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