why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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Friend's are like penguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

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What do a Mexican and a elephant have in common? Aside from the fact they're both alive beings, they share the same kingdom, phylum, class and the fact of both being alive beings, each other are in constant contact with the environment, they both share affectionate ties with partners of their species, being them from the same family, breeding partner ou even just alive beings of the same especies of each one.

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops