Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do a Mexican and a elephant have in common? Aside from the fact they're both alive beings, they share the same kingdom, phylum, class and the fact of both being alive beings, each other are in constant contact with the environment, they both share affectionate ties with partners of their species, being them from the same family, breeding partner ou even just alive beings of the same especies of each one.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

the mean terrorist said "i am going to kill your mother" that mother is now dead

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Friend's are like penguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the Brontosaurus say to the Triceratops? Nothing. Neither of them have ever existed.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops