knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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star wars kid

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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haiku's are funny. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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